Moving Down to South Park
by Cartmansbaby
Summary: What do the original natives of South Park think of these new comers from...West Park? Chapter 8! (is up!)-The kids of South Park finally meet another West Park girl-Siamese twins Kimmy and...Kimmy? Seeing them, Cartman gets an interesting idea...
1. Default Chapter

Moving Down to South Park (a South Park fanfic)  
  
A new apartment building gets built in South Park and with it, a whole pack of new residents. What do the original natives of South Park think of these new comers from...West Park?? A girl has a mad crush on Cartman, another girl marks her territory as Kyle (and she's a Jew!), a female hell razor who's a pyro, Siamese twins both named Kimmy, and more surprise "new neighbors". Hope y'all like it!   
  
"Stan, come on!" Mrs. Marsh called from outside. Stan Marsh looked out the livingroom window, outside to where his mother and father were, in the car. Stan sighed, "I guess I'm just going to have to go along with this." he said to himself. He walked outside and sat in the back seat next to his older sister Shelly.  
"Hey bratty little bastard," greeted Shelly, her voice with a thick lisp, caused by her ugly metal head gear.  
"Shelly, don't talk to your brother that way." snapped Mrs. Marsh.  
Stan didn't really care, he was used to his sister's taunting.  
"Mom, why are we doing this?" spoke up Stan.  
Mrs. Marsh looked into the back seat at her son and said, "Because it's the nice thing to do. You know, I just love befriending new neighbors."  
Stan knew too well.  
"Remember when Mr. Jefferson came to town and you invited him to dinner?" Stan questioned his mother.  
Mrs. Marsh nodded, "Yeah but I didn't know he would get in bed with you!"  
Mr. Marsh laughed from the driver's seat, "I thought he was cool. He gave me a hundred dollars."  
Mrs. Marsh shook her head in disbelief while Shelly and Stan laughed from the back seat.  
Moments later, they arrived in front of a pretty big apartment building. The building was light blue and seemed to be the only different looking house in South Park. It was just built about a month before, and just the week before new residents had moved into it. So far, no one had actually seen anyone new who lived in the apartment building.  
Everyone followed Mrs. Marsh into the apartment building.  
What are we doing? Thought Stan.  
Mrs. Marsh decided to ring the buzzer on the first door in the building. Some running sounds came from behind it and when the door opened, a tall woman with long brown hair was standing there looking a bit angry.  
"I told you damn bastards, I'm NOT interested!!" screamed the woman and she slammed the door shut in Mrs. Marsh's face.  
"Um, honey...maybe we should try the next one." said Mr. Marsh looking shocked.  
But before they could try the next door, apartment number one's door opened again only it wasn't the woman again. It was a girl probably about Stan's age, maybe a little older, who also had long brown, only it was a lot shinier and well kept than the woman's. The girl also had big eyes, with long eye lashes. She was wearing a pair of fuzzy purple leg warmers, vanilla colored corduroy pants, and a soft purple turtleneck, proper warm attire for the snowy Colorado climate in South Park.  
"Uh...hello there," began the girl with uncertianty, "Can I help you people?"  
"Hi there!" greeted Mrs. Marsh happily, "I'm Mrs. Marsh and this is my husband and my daughter Shelly and my son Stan. We see you're family is new here in South Park and we just wanted to bring in the welcome wagon!!"  
Stan glanced at the girl, and she looked a little scared, "Oh-kay." she said uncertainly.  
The woman came back to the door and stood behind the girl.  
"God damn it!! Who are you people?! And stop trying to sell me shit! I already have tampons!!" screamed the woman.  
The girl started chuckling, "Um...mom these people are here to-"  
"Welcome you!" finished Mrs. Marsh.  
"Mom? Can we go now?" asked Shelly.  
"Shut up Shelly!" said Stan, elbowing her.  
"Oh!" cried the woman, "I see now! Well, why don't y'all come in and I can show you the family!"  
The woman led the Marsh's into a small livingroom, that looked quite unpacked. On the wall behind the couch, were pictures of the girl and some other people.  
"Well, mah name is Ms. Ericson, an this is mah daughter Carman." introduced the woman, finally and then she continued, "Why don't cha'all have a seat? I'm so sorry about the mix up at the door, I've been havin these damn bastards comin up to mah door eva since we came here." Ms. Ericson explained.  
"Oh...well it'll soon pass." Mrs. Marsh said. She sat down on the couch next to her husband and Shelly, while Stan perched himself on a rocking arm chair near the door.  
"So, where did you move from Ms. Ericson?" asked Mr. Marsh.  
"We all moved down here from West Park. It's up north in Colorado." answered Ms. Ericson, "Now how about some lemonade?"  
Ms. Ericson went to get the lemonade and Carman just stood near the doorway to their apartment.  
"So, Carman, do you have any brothers or sisters?" Mrs. Marsh asked, trying to be friendly.  
"No," answered Carman, "But my cousin Jeff lives here with us. He's the same age as me. He's probably upstairs playing X Box or something."  
Ms. Ericson came back into the room and handed out some glasses of lemonade.  
"So...who else lives in this new building?" asked Mrs. Marsh.  
  
"A bunch of mah old neighbors. The Walter's, the Anderson's, the Carson's, and the Jonston's. We knew them back in West Park."  
"Why did you move here? Your job?"  
"Nah. Our old apartment building went up in flames. It was the Anderson's new kid. She burnt the damn shit hole down and we moved here," said Ms. Ericson, "Hey, you'll have to meet the Anderson's. They're pretty nice."  
The visit went on pretty smoothly. Jeff, Carman's cousin, came down for awhile to see who had invaded his new home. Jeff was a short kid, (Stan's height) and had messy black hair.  
"Dude, you should come meet my other friends and maybe we could hang out," Stan said to Jeff before they left.  
"Oh...okay." said Jeff slowly, he seemed to be the shy type.  
When the Marsh's were all back in their car, Mrs. Marsh seemed excited.  
"Boy are they a nice family, we should invite them to dinner sometime." she said.  
"I wonder who else lives there." said Stan aloud.  
"Ms. Ericson told me there were some other girls you're age who lived there too and they're going to start school with you kids."  
"Oh great," sighed Shelly sarcastically.  
This might be pretty cool. thought Stan.  
  
On Saturday, the next day, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Stan met over at Kyle's to hang out. Butter's was there too for some reason.  
"What the fuck Kyle? Why is Butter's here?" Cartman asked.  
"Dude, my mom made him come over." Kyle answered.  
"So fellas, what should we play? How about House?" asked Butters.  
"I'm not playing House." Cartman said.  
"Oh come on, I can be the mom and–"began Butters.  
"Butters, don't even say it." Kyle said.  
"But–"  
"SHUT IT!"  
"What should we do?" wondered Kyle, settling himself down on the newly snow fallen ground.  
"Hey watch this!" Cartman said. He made a snow ball and then flung it at Butters's crotch so that it made a damp spot.  
"Butters peed himself!" laughed Cartman.  
Everybody laughed.  
"What? What's everybody laughing at?" wondered Butters, looking wildly around.  
"Hey, I have an idea, why don't we ask Jeff over?" Stan announced.  
"Who's Jeff? Is he a new kid?" asked Kyle.  
"Who lives over at the new apartment building?" asked Kenny, his voice barely audible, muffled by his thick jacket.  
"Yeah," answered Stan, "You guys should meet him."  
So the guys agreed and when they got over to the apartment building, Carman was sitting out on the front steps with another girl. The other girl had short black hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a denim skirt, light blue tights, and black boots, along with a light blue jacket and scarf.  
"Hey Carman is Jeff home?" asked Stan.  
Carman shook her head, "No. He went somewhere with my mom."  
"Probably to the vet," laughed the other girl.  
"Denise, shut the hell up." snapped Carman.  
"Anorexic bitch." muttered Denise.  
"I heard that!" cried Carman, but Denise only laughed.  
"She's always calling me that," sighed Carman.  
"Well I guess we should go," said Stan turning to go.  
"Wait! Introduce me to your cute friend." Denise said. She ran off the porch and over to the boys.  
"Who are you talking about?" Stan asked.  
"Him!" Denise pointed to Kyle, who turned bright red.  
Carman laughed, "Denise you have bad taste."  
"She's right," said Cartman, agreeing with Carman, "Kyle's a J- O-O!!"  
"J-O-O?" repeated Denise looking confused.  
"A dirty Jew!" laughed Cartman.  
"Wait a second–you're Jewish?" asked Denise.  
"Yeah..." answered Kyle, not sure how Denise would respond.  
"I'm...I'm..." Denise seemed unable to speak anymore.  
"What this bitch is trying to say is," spoke up Carman, "She's a J- O-O too!"  
"Seriously?" Cartman laughed, "This is too awesome! Now there are two Jews in South Park!"  
"Cartman, there's more than that." said Stan, but Cartman wasn't listening.  
"You're Jewish too?" Kyle asked Denise, just to be sure.  
Denise folded her arms across her chest, "Yep." she answered.  
"That is...um...cool?" Kyle said, feeling a little shy.  
Denise giggled, "You are too cute!"  
Kyle blushed again.  
"Ohkay can we go now?" asked Cartman.  
"Hold on, before you guys go," said Carman, "Stan, introduce us to the rest of your friends."  
"All right, the fat ass is Cartman, that's Kenny, you already know me and Kyle, and oh this dip shit is Butters." introduced Stan.  
"Uh, hey there ladies. My name is Butters." said Butters.  
"We know." said Denise, still checking out Kyle.  
"So...uh who else lives here?" asked Stan.  
"Well...there are three other girls besides us." said Carman.  
"Four if you count the other Kimmy as a separate person." added Denise.  
"You'll probably see them all in school on Monday." Carman told the boys.  
"You're going to our school?" asked Kyle.  
"Dude, our school sucks." Cartman added.  
"Yeah we're going to your school, we're in your grade." said Denise, ignoring Cartman's comment.  
"You guys look...." Kyle stared up and down at the two girls.  
"What Kyle is trying to say is," said Stan, "You guys look older than us. I didn't think we were in the same grade. Or even the same age."  
Denise laughed, "We get that all the time."  
  
End of Chapter 1!! In the next chapter, the girls start school in South Park! Will their new school be different than their old one in....West Park? Plus, there are more surprises when the gang meets the rest of the West Park girls!! Find out about it all in chapter 2!!  
  
Please review! I hope you all enjoyed it! 


	2. First Day Of School

Moving Down to South Park-Chapter 2: First Day of School  
  
"School sucks, why do we even bother going?" Stan Marsh looked over at his three friends Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny. It was a cold, dreary, morning in South Park and they were waiting at the bus stop. Another Monday, another day at school. The bus pulled up and the boys got in and what they saw was a very interesting surprise. The bus was fuller than usual, because now Carman, Denise, and a couple of other new people had seated themselves on the same bus.  
"Where do we sit dude?" wondered Stan, talking to Kyle.  
"I don't know..." answered Kyle.  
Cartman, meanwhile plopped himself down right next to Carman, who didn't seem to mind.  
"Mind if I sit here? I have the authority." Cartman said.  
Carman giggled, "Of course you do."  
"Kyle!" called Denise, a few seats behind Cartman and Carman.  
"Come sit with me!"  
"Should I?" Kyle asked Stan.  
"Go for it." answered Stan dully, he was still worried about where he was going to sit.  
Stan walked down the aisle until he found a seat with only one person sitting in it. A girl wearing a heavy jacket like Kenny's, only it was red with black buttons. Stan couldn't really see the girl's face but he could tell she has reddish, dark brown hair and very evil looking eyes.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the girl asked Stan.  
"Uh...nothing." answered Stan, trying to avoid eye contact.  
"Why the hell are you sitting with me?" demanded the girl.  
"Um..." stammered Stan.  
Before the girl could say anything else, Jeff, who was sitting behind Stan and the girl, smacked the girl over the head with his backpack and the girl slid onto the floor and fainted.  
"Son of a bitch!" cried Stan.  
"What was that?!" screeched the bus driver, Mrs. Crabtree.  
"I said, 'I want a sandwhich!' " answered Stan.  
"Oh, all right." the bus driver answered and she turned around.  
Stan got up and sat with Jeff.  
"What was that girl's problem dude?" Stan asked Jeff.  
"Oh, you mean Fran's problem? She's always pissed off." Jeff told Stan.  
The rest of the bus ride was uneventful, and when they got to school Carman, Denise, Fran, Jeff, and another girl they did not recognize stood up at the front of the room.  
"Okay class, please welcome the new students," began Mrs. Choksondik, their teacher, "Carman Ericson, Denise Walters, Fran Anderson, Jeff Baily, and Camilla Jonston to the class. They all just moved here from West Park and moved into the new apartment building. So I would really like for all you other students to give them a warm welcome."  
Everyone else looked at the new students timidly as they found empty seats in the room. Carman chose to sit on the other side of Cartman, while Denise and Fran found seats next to each other, Jeff sat next to Stan. The class room seemed a lot more crowded with the addition of all the new students.  
  
"Hey bitch, where are we supposed to sit?" Denise asked Fran. She was holding a lunch tray, and she, Fran, Carman, and Camilla were standing uncomfortably in the school cafeteria, looking for a place to sit.  
Fran didn't answer.  
"Yo bitch! Answer me!" Denise snapped her fingers in front of Fran's face but she still didn't say anything.  
"Fran, your mama is fat!" Denise cried.  
Fran still didn't move.  
"Denise, I don't think you should-"began Camilla, she seemed extremeley nervous.  
"Camilla, shut the hell up," Denise turned back to Fran and slapped her in the face, "Wake up bitch!"  
And with those last words, Fran flung her tray into Denise's face. Nasty looking salad and mashed potatoes drenched Denise's clothes and Fran took off laughing evily.  
"Hey, I'll help you." Bebe and Wendy walked up to the other three girls.  
Bebe helped Denise wipe down your outfit.  
"Thanks, whoever you two are." Denise said when she was all cleaned up.  
"I'm Wendy, and this is Bebe, we're in your class." introduced Wendy.  
"Hey, nice to meet you." spoke up Camilla, "Can we sit with you guys?"  
"Sure." Wendy answered.  
Camilla followed and sat down in between Wendy and Bebe. They eyed her slowly.  
"What's with the get up?" asked Bebe, gesturing towards Camilla's outfit.  
"Huh?" Camilla looked confused, but Bebe and Wendy just laughed.  
Denise sat down across from them, this time it was she who eyed Bebe and Wendy.  
"So...you two seem to know what's going on here." Denise said. She was resting her chin and her hand, her light blue eyes sparkling.  
Carman sat down next to Denise, feeling a bit nervous.  
"Well yeah we do." Wendy answered. Carman could've sworn now it was Wendy who looked nervous.  
"Then tell me...who's got Kyle?" Denise asked, pointing with her thumb to the table behind her, where Cartman, Stan, Kenny, Jeff, and Kyle were perched.  
Wendy looked confused, "What do you mean?"  
Denise rolled her eyes, "I mean who's going out with him."  
"No one is." Wendy answered, still confused. Denise leaned towards Carman and whispered to her, "Are they morons are what?"  
"I guess so..." whispered Carman.  
"Just give me a day and we'll be the ones running the school," whispered Denise, "But first..." She gazed over at Kyle, who to her pleasure, was looking at her. She waved to him and he slowly waved back.  
"You like him?" Wendy wanted to know.  
"Duh!" cried Camilla, "She's been crushing on him since we moved here."  
"How do you know?! You weren't there when I met him!" cried Denise.  
Camilla stared at her blankly and then said, "I...I have my ways."  
Denise did the "she's crazy" sign and pointed at Camilla. Then she turned back to Wendy and Bebe, "Steer clear of her, she's a weirdo."  
Camilla didn't object, she just looked down at her cold green jello on her lunch tray.  
"So who do you like Carman?" Bebe asked.  
Carman smiled, "I like...well I like Eric."  
Wendy spat out her milk, "Are you serious?! You like that fat ass? That's too funny!"  
"Well I think he's cute..." she mumbled, but Wendy heard her and she laughed even harder.  
"Does he know?" asked Bebe.  
"Probably." Carman answered.  
"I'll tell him," said Denise absentmindedly, she was rumaging through her light blue purse, looking for something.  
"No! I want to tell him!" Wendy cried, red in the face from laughing so hard.  
"Don't waste your breathe...bitch." said Carman.  
"What did you just call me?" cried Wendy.  
Denise stood up and slung her purse over her shoulder, "She just called you a bitch, now if you'll just excuse us." She and Carman walked off...over to ths boys table.  
Wendy and Bebe were dumbfounded.  
"How dare they!" cried Wendy.  
Bebe sighed, "They are a lot prettier than us." she said quietly.  
"Speak for yourself..." said Wendy, "Well maybe you're right."  
They didn't talk much after that.  
  
Over at the boys table, Denise and Carman were enjoying themselves. The boys took it to themselves to tell Carman, Denise, and Jeff all about South Park and the school.  
"That there is Chef. He's our only adult friend," explained Stan, "If there's anything you ever wanna know Chef's the guy to tell it like it is."  
"Hello children." Chef greeted them.  
"Hey Chef!" the boys called.  
"Chef, these are some of the new kids-Carman, Jeff, and Denise." introduced Stan.  
"Why hello there." Chef said.  
"Hi!"  
  
The rest of the day went by fast and when school was out, everyone waited together for the school bus in front of the school.  
"I'm so glad I didn't die today!" cried Kenny happily.  
"Yeah well Kenny don't get your hopes up." Cartman said, "Poor people always die."  
"You're poor? Ohmigod that's so sad!" cried Denise.  
Cartman laughed, "No it isn't."  
The bus pulled up and everyone got on.  
"So what do you guys do for fun around here?" Denise asked, proudly sitting next to Kyle.  
"We could go to Stark's Pond," said Kyle, "We go there to ice skate sometimes."  
"Ice skating? Awesome! That sounds like fun." Denise said.  
"Really? Well okay let's go this weekend."  
"Okay." 


	3. Adventures in Ice Skating

Adventures in Ice Skating  
  
Denise walked down the blue carpeted steps of the apartment building and stood outside the door of Carman's apartment. She was carrying her shimmery white ice skates over her shoulder.  
"Hey anorexic bitch! Are you in there? Let's go!" screamed Denise, pounding on the door.  
The door opened and Carman stood ready to go, holding a pair of ice skates too.  
"Come on in, just let me get my coat." Carman said.  
Denise rolled her eyes, but went inside anyway.  
"So...anorexic bitch, are you ready to skate or what?" Denise asked as Carman pulled her purple fuzzy jacket.  
"I guess...I haven't skated in so long, I don't even know if I remember how." Carman said.  
"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it again," Denise said, "Now come on!" She grabbed Carman by the arm and they ran together towards Stark's Pond.  
"Why are we running so fast? You don't want to skate that bad do you?" Carman called as Denise tugged her along.  
Denise laughed, "No you dumb ass!"  
"Oh you wanna see jew boy right?" Carman realised.  
"Exactly." Denise answered as they climbed over the hill that overlooked Stark's Pond. The pond looked beautiful as it glistened under a pack of ice. Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Stan, Wendy, and Butters were all sitting nearby a log. Denise and Carman ran over to them.  
"Look who's here." said Kyle.  
"Yeah-"Denise smiled.  
"No, I mean look who's here!" Kyle said again, pointing behind him. Denise turned and to her luck, Fran was right behind her.  
"You bitch!" scowled Denise.  
"What is she doing here?" Stan asked.  
"She must have followed us." shrugged Denise.  
Fran took a stick and started wacking Denise on the butt with it. Cartman started laughing histeracly.  
"Are we skating or what?" demanded Wendy.  
"What are you doing here?" Denise asked, trying to grab the stick from Fran's clutches.  
"I came here with Stan," answered Wendy, "We're going out."  
Denise smiled, braking the stick in two and pushing Fran into a snow bank nearby, "Yeah Stan's cute...but not as cute as Kyle."  
Kyle blushed and Cartman laughed, "The Jew's blushing!"  
"SHUT UP Cartman!" Kyle cried, still blushing at Denise.  
"Shall we skate then?" Denise took Kyle's mittened hand in hers and they slid out onto the ice.  
"Come on Stan." Wendy announced and pulled Stan onto the ice with her.  
Carman turned to Cartman, "I haven't ice skated in a long time..." she said nervously.  
"It's not that hard, if a Jew can do it, than so can you." Cartman said.  
Carman smiled, "Eric, you're funny."  
Cartman smiled too, "I am? No one's ever said that one before."  
"Hey dumb asses! Let's get out here, huh?" Denise called from the ice, skating alongside with Kyle.  
"Well we should go...and uh skate then." said Carman, glancing over at Cartman nervously.  
"Sure..." Carman said hesitantly then he glanced over at Carman who was slowly (yet wobbily) moving her way onto the ice unsteadily in her skates.  
"Do you knew help?" Cartman asked.  
"Please!" yelled Carman, just as she said that she fell forwards, but was caught by Cartman.  
She looked up at him, clutching to his round middle.  
"Thank you." she said.  
"Oh...sure...yeah." Cartman answered. He looked down at her, but right then he wished he hadn't. Carman was looking up at him, her bright big eyes shining, her face was turning a bit red from the Colorado cold.  
Cartman helped her to her feet, but they were still clutching hands. Denise skated past them perfectly, then she started skating backwards.  
"Hey everybody look at me!" she cried.  
"Show off." muttered Wendy to Stan.  
"Awesome!" cried Kyle, who was standing by himself now watching her in awe.  
"Hey Kenny! Butters! Are you guys going to skate with us?" Kyle called. Kenny was sitting on the ground by a log and Butters was next to him.  
"All right fellas, I suppose so." Butters answered, "Come on Kenny."  
"Okay." said Kenny and he and Butters joined everybody else on the ice. The afternoon flew by and none of the kids really knew it, they were having so much fun. Fran even joined them out on the ice, trying to out skate Denise and getting in her way.  
"Hey fat ass! I'm surprised you don't fall through the ice!" teased Wendy.  
"Ay! I'm not fat I'm just big boned!" Cartman screamed back, then he turned to Carman and asked, "Am I fat?"  
Carman giggled and playfully poked him in the stomach, "I think you're cute," she said, "Hey try and catch me!"  
Carman started skating faster and it took Cartman loads of painful effort to chase after her, but he was having fun, and for once not complaining about anything.  
"Isn't this fun Kenny?" Butters asked, looking over at Kenny.  
"Sure why not?" was Kenny's reply, he didn't really enjoy being addressed by Butters.  
"Hey wanna see what I can do?" Butters asked, but before Kenny could even reply, Butters was off skating around, he did a triple axle and twirled, and suddenly, his ice skate flew right off of him!  
Everyone watched in horror as the ice skate sailed threw the air and landed in Kenny's face. He fell onto the ice in a splatter of blood, with the ice skate still impaled into his face.  
"Oh my god! He killed Kenny!" screamed Kyle in horror.  
"You bastard!" cried Stan, pointing at Butters.  
Butters covered his face in his hand, "Goddamnit! Not AGAIN!!" he screamed.  
Denise, Wendy, Fran, and Carman just looked at each other in horror.  
"We gotta help him!" cried Denise.  
"He's too poor to have a funeral." sighed Cartman.  
"I have finally seen death..." said Carman softly.  
Cartman put his hand on her shoulder for comfort.  
"Poor kid...there's no help for him now." Wendy said.  
"I can't stand it any longer!!" screamed Butters, and he ran off.  
"What are we going to do?!" screamed Denise, biting her nails nervously.  
"What...we always do?" said Kyle looking confused.  
Denise, Carman, and Fran stared at Kyle like he was crazy.  
"What do you mean...like you always do?" asked Denise.  
Kyle looked down at his feet.  
Stan shrugged.  
Cartman laughed.  
Wendy stared blankly into space.  
Kenny bled.  
  
After a few more moments of akward silence, Carman held up her hand excitedly.  
"Let's hold a funeral for him!"Carman cried.  
  
Read on into Chapter 3 for what happens when Kenny actually has a funeral!! Hope you liked it!! 


	4. Kenny's Funeral

Kenny's Funeral  
  
Later on that day, the new South Park apartment building's inhabitants were quite busy. Carman had taken it upon herself to hold a funeral for Kenny. So Carman, Denise, Wendy, Fran, and Camilla were all gathered in Carman's room that day. Carman had drawn up a list of things that they needed for Kenny's funeral.  
"Um...Carman?" Wendy raised her hand.  
"Carman?" interrupted Wendy, "Do you think this is a good idea?"  
"Of course it is! The guy died didn't he?" Carman said.  
"Yeah but..." Wendy trailed off and looked around Carman's little room.  
"Wendy, you can go get a bunch of people to come to Kenny's funeral since you know more people here than we do, Denise will go get Stan, Kyle, and Eric and see how they're doing on Kenny's casket. Camilla and I will get everything else ready and Fran...can leave." said Carman.  
Fran smacked Carman on the head and left the room, slamming the door behind her.  
"What's Fran's problem? Why is she always so mad?" asked Wendy.  
"Fran's always been like that," said Camilla, she was sitting cross legged on the carpet writing with a black feathered pen in a black hard cover journal, "She's always been so mean to all of us. Once she set my dress on fire."  
"Whoa, that must have been scary." Wendy said.  
Camilla just shrugged and turned back to her journal.  
"Fran is a weirdo. And she's not very pretty either." said Denise, who was busy examing herself in Carman's hand mirror, "What do you think Wendy? Will Kyle like my hair up or down?"  
"Oh my god, just shut up." Wendy said, rolling her eyes.  
"Should I wear my light blue eye shadow and sparkles to the funeral?" Denise went on.  
Wendy smacked Denise with a pillow and she fell off the bed.  
  
When Carman was done assigning jobs, everyone went out to get things ready. Denise ran over to Kyle's house where Cartman, Kyle, and Stan were busy hammering peices of wood together into a crude looking casket.  
"How's the casket coming along?" Denise asked.  
"All right I guess." answered Stan.  
"I just hope Kenny will fit in it." Kyle said.  
"Well I think you're doing a good job Kyle." complimented Denise.  
"Ay! What about me?" cried Cartman.  
"Shut up fat boy!" screamed Denise, then she turned back to Kyle, "I miss Kenny already."  
"Oh..." Kyle sighed, "I'm sorry..."  
"Oh...that's okay," replied Denise, "Well all you guys have to do is bring the casket, with Kenny in it to Stark's Pond at one o'clock and we're going to have the funeral there."  
Later that day, the three boys went to get Kenny's body. Cartman and Stan set the casket on the ground. They looked over at Kenny's body, still lying on the ice.  
"Dude, that is sick!" cried Kyle.  
"Oh well, let's just put him in real quick." said Stan and as disgusting as it was, the boys put Kenny in the casket and closed the lid.  
"Bring him over here!" called Denise from up the hill. They brought Kenny and his casket up and Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Denise, Carman, Fran, Camilla, Jeff, Tweak, Token, Craig, Jimmy, Timmy, Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip all gathered around the casket.  
"All right everyone," began Carman, "Welcome to the funeral for our dear friend Kenny McCormick. Does anyone wanna say a few words about him?"  
"I will," said Pip, he looked down at the casket and said, "Kenny was a jolly good fellow, jolly good he was."  
"Kenny was...nice and we will miss him." said Wendy.  
"Well, well...rest in p-p-p-peace K-K-K-Kenny." said Jimmy.  
"Timmay!" cried Timmy.  
"Kenny, you were an ass hole." said Craig, flipping his dead body off.  
"Kenny...I...I didn't really know you." said Jeff.  
"Kenny, you were a good friend...and...well yeah." said Kyle.  
Denise looked over at Stan. He cleared his throat, "Kenny, I'll miss you...again."  
"Kenny, I'm sorry you were poor!" said Denise. She bent down and lay some flowers on top of the casket, tears were leaking from her eyes.  
"What about you Eric?" asked Carman.  
"Yeah I got something to say! Kenny, you were poor!!" laughed Cartman.  
  
"At least that's saying something." shrugged Camilla, who was standing on his other side.  
"Yessss!" a familiar voice screamed. Everyone watched as Butters ran down the hill and flung himself towards the casket, but he missed and landed into the hole that Kenny was going to be buried in.  
"Holy shit! This is too much pressure!" screamed Tweak.  
"Okay, okay," said Carman, "Well, let's bury him."  
"W-wait fellars! Wait! I'm still down here!" called Butters.  
"Well get your ass out of there!" Carman called down the hole.  
Butters hurriedly climbed out of the hole and collasped onto the snow. Cartman, Stan, and Kyle lowered the casket and it landed with a thud into the hole. They shoveled snow on top of it and Kenny was finally buried.  
Butters was on the ground looking horror struck, covering his face with his hands.  
  
That night, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman walked with Carman, Denise, Camilla, Fran, and Jeff back to the apartment building. Jeff, Camilla, and Fran ran back inside right away due to the cold air outside.  
"Kenny's funeral was...great." said Kyle, "You guys did a good job."  
"Thanks Kyle, you did good too." said Denise, she was blushing and looking down at her feet.  
"This is getting gay. I'm leaving." said Cartman, turning around and walking away.  
"Wait! Eric! Hold on." Carman ran over to him and grabbed his hand. Cartman blushed.  
"Look! Now fat ass is blushing!" laughed Kyle.  
"SHUT UP Jew boy!" screamed Carman.  
She looked back at Cartman and they smiled at each other.  
"Good night Eric." Carman said.  
"Yeah." Cartman replied.  
Carman went into the apartment building with Denise and the three boys were left alone.  
"A funeral for Kenny," said Stan, "What will those girls think of next?"  
"Hopefully it involves pie! I'm hungry." said Cartman. THE END  
  
Hope you guys enjoyed! Read on to find out what happens next!! 


	5. Fran Goes Crazy

Fran Goes Crazy!  
  
It was a typical school day, only inside Mr. Garrison's home room class, things were definitely not typical.  
"Fran, stop burning that paper!!" screamed Mr. Garrison. He ran over to Fran who was sitting at a desk in the far corner, busy lighting papers on fire.  
"Has anyone seen Mr. Hat?!" cried Mr. Garrison all of sudden.  
"Fran had him last!" replied Carman, standing up in her chair to see the fire Fran had started.  
"OHMYGOD!!!" screamed Mr. Garrison. He screamed again in horror as he watched Mr. Hat burn too, in the fire Fran had created. Her eyes sparkled as she laughed evily at the act she had just done.  
"Dude, that is so not cool." said Kyle from his seat beside Denise.  
"Fran, you're such a bitch!" Denise commented.  
Fran kept laughing.  
Mr. Garrison wasn't saying anything. He was sobbing on the class room floor. Suddenly the class was interrupted by a loud siren sound. The sprinklers on the ceiling went off and everyone shrieked as they were poured on. Fran was still laughing hysterically.  
Mrs. Victoria ran into the class room with a fire extinguisher.  
"Put it out! Put it out!" screamed Mrs. Victoria, showering the class with white foam.  
"Shit! This shirt cost me fifty dollars!!! Help!" screamed Denise.  
"What's going on in here Mr. Garrison?" asked Mrs. Victoria. She threw down the extinguisher and it hit Butters with a clunk.  
"Mr. Hat is dead!!" sobbed Mr. Garrison.  
"Who did this?!" cried Mrs. Victoria.  
Everyone pointed at Fran. She had stopped laughing like a maniac and was know staring blankly at nothing.  
"You're coming with me missy." Mrs. Victoria grabbed Fran and dragged her out of the room.  
"Man that was kick ass!" cried Cartman.  
"Oh poor Mr. Garrison, is there something we can do?" asked Wendy.  
"Mr. Hat is gone!!!" screamed their teacher.  
"We'll just have to get you a new Mr. Hat Mr. Garrison." offered Jeff.  
"No way can replace Mr. Hat," said Mr. Garrison, now on his feet, "Now you all get back to work!"  
Everyone sat back down in their desks and whispered to each other as they watched Mr. Garrison get back to his desk and he started crying.  
"What was with Mr. Hat anyway?" Carman whispered to Cartman.  
"It was Mr. Garrison's boyfriend." answered Cartman.  
"I heard that Eric Cartman!" called Mr. Garrison.  
"Shut up you gay doosh." Cartman muttered.  
"I heard that too!" Mr. Garrison called.  
  
Back in Mrs. Victoria's office was Mr. Mackey, Fran, and Mr. And Mrs. Anderson, Fran's foster parents.  
"So I understand you're Fran's foster parents mmmkay?" began Mr. Mackey.  
"Yeah, that's right," said Mrs. Anderson, "We adopted her before we moved here."  
"Mmmkay, now what happened to Fran's old parents?" asked Mr. Mackey.  
"They were burned alive, we aren't sure how." answered Mr. Anderson.  
"Now, what does Fran act like at home?"  
"She's usually very quiet, she never speaks to us," said Mrs. Anderson, "We suspect she may have spoken to her real parents, but other than her being quiet she's usually...well...she's usually quite destructive."  
"Mmmkay, destructive how?"  
"She breaks our stuff." said Mr. Anderson.  
"She broke my leg." said Mrs. Anderson.  
"And your arm too." added Mr. Anderson.  
"Mmmkay, now is that all?"  
"No! That's not even the half of it!" cried Mrs. Anderson then she looked at Fran, "Isn't that right?"  
Fran nodded and then started laughing evily again.  
"See! See! This is what she does! Before-"began Mr. Anderson.  
"Before what?"  
Fran got up from her chair and set it on fire. She swung the chair at Mr. Mackey and he fell out of his chair and caught on fire.  
"Mmmkay."  
  
"Class, today I have some good news," said Mr. Garrison. It was the next day and Mr. Garrison looked quite happy. He was holding Mr. Hat, who was wearing a cast and some band aids.  
"Mr. Hat survived his traumatic event and he is doing quite well. We also," Mr. Garrison nodded towards the door, "Have a new student joining us today. He's also from West Park."  
The door opened and a boy wearing a purple coat and pink plaid pants walked shyly into the room.  
Carman and Denise gasped in delight when they saw the kid.  
"Who's this doosh bag?" asked Cartman aloud.  
"Eric!" warned Mr. Garrison, then he looked back at the new kid, "Class, this is Lenny Perkins, Lenny, this is the class."  
"Lenny!" Carman and Denise waved to the kid and he shyly waved back.  
"Lenny, why don't you have a seat over next to Wendy and we can get started on a new unit in social studies titled 'How the Government Steals Your Money'." said Mr. Garrison.  
  
That day in school turned out to be very interesting. Fran wasn't in school so things were quite peaceful. At recess, Lenny hung out outside with Carman and Denise. The three were old friends.  
"I had no idea you'd be coming up here with us!" cried Denise happily.  
Kyle, Stan, and Cartman were watching the trio from on the swing set. Kyle felt a little pang of jealously at seeing Denise give attention to another guy.  
"I wonder why Denise likes him so much." Kyle said.  
"Kyle, don't worry about. You can totally tell that's he a gay fag just by looking at him." Cartman said.  
Carman ran over to him, "Hey Eric, have you met Lenny yet?"  
"Phph, no!" answered Cartman.  
"Okay, well see you later then." Carman said and she turned and went back to talk with Lenny.  
"What the hell was that?!" cried Cartman, suddenly feeling slightly jealous.  
"Cartman," Kyle looked at him with a shocked look on his face, "I'm starting to think you really have a crush on her!"  
"Yeah well, you have a crush on that Jewish bitch!" Cartman shot back.  
  
"Shut up fat ass!" Kyle yelled.  
Stan was swinging in between them. He smiled, "It's about time you two found girl friends. I mean, I've got Wendy and Kenny's had Kelly."  
"Maybe you're right Stan." said Kyle.  
Cartman laughed, "Yeah but you're forgetting how ugly Wendy is! And you still barf every time you see her!"  
"No I don't fat ass!" Stan yelled.  
Just then Wendy walked over, "Hey Stan."  
Stan turned green and then puked all over Wendy.  
"EW STAN! NOT in my hair!!" Wendy screamed and ran.  
Cartman and Kyle just laughed.  
  
"Now Fran, we're setting some new rules in this house." said Mr. Anderson firmly.  
Fran just stared blankly at him from her spot on the couch.  
"No fires, no matches, no breaking things, no sharp objects, no open electric outlets, no poisonus things, no live animals, and NO screaming, is that clear?" said Mrs. Anderson.  
Fran shrugged, reached behind her back and pulled out a stick.  
"Fran?! Are you listening to me?! Fran! NO!!!!" Mrs. Anderson screamed as Fran wacked her over the head with it and then she wacked Mr. Anderson.  
Fran laughed as she walked out of the apartment with an evil grin on her face.  
  
"Kyle!" Denise called. She ran over to Kyle. It was after school and they were all going to walk home together.  
"Hello Kyle, it's nice to meet you. Denise has told me all about you." Lenny appeared by her side.  
Kyle looked at Lenny like he was crazy, "She did?"  
"Yes, you sound simply charming." Lenny said.  
"What?!"  
"Kyle, calm down. I just told Lenny how hot I think you are." Denise said.  
"Oh..." Kyle said.  
"And I agree with Denise. You are quite good looking." said Lenny.  
"What?! Holy shit!!" Kyle screamed and ran.  
  
Stan was looking sadly down at the ground.  
"I can't believe I did that AGAIN!" he was saying.  
"Stan, you'll never be able to talk to girls," said Cartman, "Now watch me," Cartman said just as Carman walked up to them.  
"Hey Carman," Cartman said and he reached over and hugged her warmly.  
He drew back and Carman blushed with a smile on her face.  
"Hi Eric, um...hey, I'm sorry I didn't get to see you much today. It's just that it was Lenny's first day...and he's pretty shy." Carman said.  
"No problem," said Cartman, his arm around her, "So want to come over today?"  
"Sure! How about I come over at four?"  
"That's cool."  
"See you later Eric." Carman winked at him and walked away.  
Stan puked again.  
"Ay! Don't be puking at my woman!" Cartman yelled.  
Kyle ran over to them. He was panting, "Guys...Lenny...he's...he's...gay...he's...gay..."  
"Well no crap jew boy. I TOLD you he was." Cartman said.  
"Yeah...but...he thinks...he thinks...I'm hot!!" cried Kyle.  
Cartman and Stan laughed.  
Denise ran over to them. Lenny was right behind her.  
"Get him away from me!!" Kyle cried, his eyes wide with fear.  
"Kyle, what's your problem?" Denise asked.  
"Get him away!!" Kyle yelled, backing away.  
Denise put her hands on her hips in frustration, "Lenny, go away."  
"I shall see you later Denise." Lenny said and he walked away.  
Denise put her hand on Kyle's shoulder, "Kyle, I'm sorry about what Lenny said. I didn't mean-"  
"I know you didn't mean to...please just make sure he doesn't talk to me!"  
Denise giggled, "Kyle, I didn't know you were a homophobe."  
"I'm not...it's just...just that..."  
"I know. It's because he said you were hot," said Denise, "I get it. Well, come on let's go ice skating. I'm meeting Wendy at Stark's Pond. Are you coming Stan?"  
Stan gulped, "Sure. Okay."  
  
"I just love Terance and Philip, don't you Carman?" Cartman asked, sitting himself down on the couch.  
"Yeah...sure." Carman sat down next to him on the other end of the couch and looked down at her feet. What's wrong with you Carman? Just talk to him like you always do!  
Cartman looked over at Carman, "What's wrong?"  
Carman looked at him, "Nothing."  
They watched Terance and Philip in silence for about ten minutes when Carman suddenly said, "Um, Eric? Would you like me to get you some Cheesy Poufs?"  
Cartman smiled at her, "Sure! Can you get me a soda while you're up?"  
Carman nodded and went into the kitchen. She returned with a big bag of Cheesy Poufs and two cans of Dr. Pepper.  
"Thanks. I'm starving!" Cartman said. Carman giggled and she scooted over on the couch so she was closer to him.  
  
Over at Stark's Pond, Kyle and Denise were skating while Stan and Wendy sat on the log on the lake's edge.  
"Stan," Wendy said, "How about a kiss?"  
Stan looked at her, but didn't barf, he leaned forwards and his lips came in contact with another pair, but he didn't feel anything. He opened his eyes and realized that he hadn't been kissing Wendy! He had been kissing Fran!  
"Oh my God!!!!" screamed Stan, falling off the bench.  
Fran shrieked in laughter.  
"Stan?" Wendy stood up from behind the log and screamed when she saw Fran.  
"Fran! You whore!!" Wendy dove right at Fran and they were screaming, punching, slapping, and kicking, rolling on the snow, fighting.  
On the ice Denise and Kyle had stopped skating and were now watching the fight.  
"Go Wendy! Rip her balls off!" called Kyle, "Wait a second-what the hell did I just say?"  
Denise screamed as Fran threw Wendy off of her and Wendy knocked into Stan and they both fell behind the log. Fran brushed herself off and looked at Denise. Her eyes were sparkling evily. Fran smiled a pyschotic smile.  
Denise screamed again and ducked behind Kyle.  
"Kyle help me!!"  
Fran rushed at Denise and just as she collided with the three of them, the ice broke from under neath Denise. She fell into the freezing cold water. Fran cackled evily and the ice surrounding her broke into flames. The ice was melting around them!!  
"KYLE!!!" Denise screamed. Kyle pulled as hard as he could on her hands. Denise climbed back onto the ice, but just as she made it up, the ice melted from underneath them! Kyle and Denise plunged back into the water.  
Suddenly, they heard someone skating towards them. Kyle lifted his head up from under the freezing water and saw Lenny leaning over the ice.  
"Take my hand Kyle!" Lenny was screaming.  
"NO way dude!!" screamed Kyle. He fell back under water. He was clutching Denise hand.  
"Do it Kyle! Or we're gonna freeze!!" Denise screamed at him.  
Kyle held his breath and swam over to Lenny on the ice's edge. Fran was no where in sight now. Grudgingly, Kyle took Lenny's hand and he pulled Kyle over onto the ice. Then Lenny and Kyle pulled Denise back onto the ice with him.  
"Denise, are you okay?! Speak to me?!" Kyle yelled franticly.  
Denise coughed and spit out a bit of water.  
"Kyle..."  
Kyle hugged her tightly. He peered over Denise's shoulder and saw Lenny looking at him. Lenny winked and Kyle screamed.  
  
A few moments later, they returned to the land.  
"Hey, where's Wendy and Stan? Are they still here?" Denise asked. She was soaking wet and shivering.  
"I think they were over here." said Lenny. He led the way and the three peered over the log. What the saw made them start laughing wicked hard.  
Wendy was lying in a puddle of puke next to Stan!  
"Stan, you are SO sick! Get away from me!" cried Wendy and she ran back up the hill.  
Denise held out her hand and helped Stan up and over the log.  
"I'm so sorry Stan." said Denise.  
"Don't worry about it. Me and Wendy will just back together, we always do." said Stan.  
"So how about we go and see what the anroexic bitch and the fat ass are doing together." said Denise. Everyone agreed and they set off towards Cartman's house. THE END  
  
(Sorry it was so long) In the next chapter (hopefully) we'll find out what happened w/Carman and Cartman!! Ooooh. And does Lenny really like Kyle??? Kyle needs to calm down. Okay so please review! Thank you so much for reading!! 


	6. Snowed In At Cartman's

The Snowed In at Cartman's  
  
"So Cartman...what really did happen at your house with Carman?" Kyle wanted to know.  
"Well you know, this and that." Cartman replied, smiling smugly.  
It was lunch time and the three boys were sitting together along with Tweak.  
"Wow, that's A LOT of pressure!" commented Tweak.  
"Remember the old days when is was just me, you, Stan, and Kenny?" Kyle asked Cartman.  
"Yeah..." Cartman said, but he was looking over at Carman.  
Carman was sitting at a table nearby with Wendy, Bebe, Denise, Camilla, and Fran.  
"Hey guys." Jeff wondered over to the boy's table and sat down next to Tweak.  
"Hey dude." greeted Kyle.  
"Cartman, what are you looking at?" Jeff noticed Cartman staring over at Carman.  
Carman had her chin and her hand and she was smiling and agreeing with Wendy about something. Her long pretty brown hair was down and she was wearing a school girl outfit with a white cuffed shirt, grey overshirt, a faded grey plaid skirt, white knee socks, and Mary Janes. She was also wearing a long black tie.  
"Cartman, are you looking at my cousin?" Jeff asked.  
"No crap Jeff, when did you figure that out?" Kyle said.  
Jeff shrugged, "I didn't know you liked her Cartman."  
Stan sighed from his spot across from Cartman, "Figures. When Cartman gets a girl friend, I don't have one."  
"What's wrong with you and Wendy?" asked Jeff, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes.  
"I keep...well I keep puking every time I see her or when she talks to me." Stan said.  
"We all have that problem my friend," said Jeff, then he burst out into laughter.  
"Hey doosh bag are you gonna eat the pudding?" Cartman asked Jeff.  
"Oh you're eating again." Kyle commented sarcasticly.  
"Shut up Jew." Cartman said simply. He took Jeff's pudding, got up from the table and went over to Carman.  
The other girls sitting with Carman were trying to hold back laughter when Cartman came up to their table. Carman swung her legs over the bench and turned to face Cartman.  
"Hey Eric, what's up?" she asked.  
"I brought you this quality pudding. Compliments of...uh, me." Cartman said holding out the pudding.  
Carman took the pudding and set it on her tray, "Thank you Eric."  
"Do you want to come over again? Today after school?"  
Carman smiled, "Of course."  
"Well, I'll see you later then."  
"Yeah."  
Cartman went back to his table and sat down.  
"Pudding?! You dumb ass! You gave her pudding!" Kyle laughed.  
"Shut UP Kyle!" cried Cartman, "I don't see you going over there and talking to your girl friend!"  
"Denise is not my girl friend..." Kyle said uncertainly. He shot a glance over in Denise's direction. She was wearing her hair down and she was wearing a pretty blue shirt that had sheer light blue sleeves, a pair of low risers, a silver belt, and matching silver earrings. She was trying to figure out what to do with Wendy's hair.  
From beside Cartman, Stan sighed.  
"Cartman, how do you do it? How in the hell do you talk to her so easily?" Stan was saying.  
"Stan, you're just stupid." Cartman said as he was getting up to throw his food away.  
Kyle, Stan, Tweak, and Jeff followed, on the way they passed Lenny.  
"Hello boys. Hello Kyle." Lenny greeted them.  
"Oh God...oh God..." Kyle murmured under his breath.  
"Oh that's right, Kyle doesn't have a girl friend. He has a boy friend named Lenny!" teased Cartman.  
"Hey! Lenny is NOT my boy friend! And...at least I don't have a fat ass!!!!" Kyle insulted.  
"I'm NOT FAT!!!" yelled Cartman.  
  
"So you're going over fat ass's today?" Denise asked, opening her locker and dumping her books into it.  
"Yes, that's right." answered Carman. She checked her hair and make up in the mirror on the door of her locker.  
"Hello ladies," Lenny appeared beside Denise, "How are you?"  
"Hey Lenny," said Denise quickly, then she looked around and spotted Kyle, "Lenny, you better go. I'm going to go see if Kyle will hang out today."  
"Fine by me. See you ladies later." Lenny left.  
Denise sighed when he was gone. "He was a lot more relaxed back in West Park." she said.  
Carman sighed too and leaned on her closed locker. She had a dreamy expression on her face, "Everything was so relaxed in West Park."  
"Yeah," agreed Denise, leaning beside Carman, "Remember when it used to snow so heavily and school would be closed for a week?"  
"Yeah! The snow was so beautiful," said Carman then she added, "I miss West Park."  
"I do too," admitted Denise, "That was when Fran was semi normal, Lenny was almost straight, Kimmy didn't talk to us, and Camilla was...well she's the same as she was before. Also," Denise went on, "The guys weren't as hot." She smiled as she stared over at Kyle.  
Carman smiled too, thinking about Cartman, "You're absolutely right."  
Denise shook her head and laughed, but she was still smiling, "Why do you like him so much?"  
"He's just...Cartman."  
Denise laughed, "Yeah well you better go meet him."  
Carman looked down at her watch, "Gosh, you're right. Bye Denise."  
"Call me later?"  
"Maybe."  
"You better, anorexic bitch!"  
"Shut the fuck up!" Carman called over her shoulder as she ran out the school doors.  
  
Carman rang the bell at Cartman's house minutes later. The door was answered by Cartman's mother.  
"Carman," she greeted, "It's so wonderful to see you back here. Eric has been expecting to see you."  
"Thanks." Carman answered hastily. She didn't really like Mrs. Cartman that much. She was nice and all and left Cartman and herself alone, but Carman had a funny feeling about Cartman's mother. Carman couldn't quite put her finger on it though.  
"Carman, hey." Cartman came into the living room. He was holding a bag of Cheesy Poufs and holding the remote.  
"Hi." Carman replied. Cartman quickly put the remote and the snacks on the couch and ran over and hugged Carman warmly.  
"Oh, how cute," Mrs. Cartman said, "Well I'll leave you two by yourselves now."  
"Where are you going mom?" Cartman asked.  
Mrs. Cartman took the keys and a coat and scarf and headed towards the door, "Oh. I have...business to take care of honey poo. But I'll be back as soon as I can. You'll be fine here."  
"Yes mom." Cartman said.  
"Bye honey."  
Carman wasn't sure what to say when Mrs. Cartman just left so abrubtly, so she just sat down on the couch beside Cartman. She smiled smugly and put her hand on his upper leg.  
Cartman didn't say anything, he just sat and ate while they watched Terrance and Philip on TV.  
A few minutes into the show the news caster guy came on, "We interrupt this program to give you a special weather report."  
"Damn it!! It was just getting to the good part!" cried Cartman, "Oh shit."  
"Well the folks down in South Park are going to be getting a pleasant surprise tonight," said the weather man, "A huge wave of snow is going to fall tonight and bring about six to nine inches of snow. So enjoy it while you can kids!"  
"Now back to your original program."  
Carman turned to Cartman. She looked very excited, she grabbed Cartman's arm and shook it, "Eric!!! Didn't you hear that? Six to nine inches of snow!!"  
Cartman took a handful of Cheesy Poufs and ate them, "Big friggin deal."  
"It is a big friggin deal! No school! No Mr. Garrison tomorrow!! Oh! And maybe no school for at least two days! Maybe even three!" Carman cried.  
Cartman turned away from the TV and looked at Carman, "You seem excited."  
"I am! This is almost like being back in West Park," said Carman, "Only...with hot guys."  
"I'm not-"  
"Yes you are, now-wait hold on!" Carman suddenly looked a little scared, "Eric, I'm sorry but I have to get home. If the snow's gonna start." Carman got up from the couch and reached for her coat but Cartman stopped her.  
"You can't leave me here alone!" he cried. He hugged her and Carman hugged him back. She didn't want to leave him.  
"Okay, I'll stay here. But," Carman looked around confused, "What are we gonna do?"  
Cartman shrugged, "Let's call some people."  
Carman shrugged too, "All right. I guess that's okay."  
So that night, Carman, Denise, Kyle, Lenny, Camilla, Jeff, Stan, and Wendy all ended up at Cartman's house.  
Denise and Carman looked really excited and they kept looking out the window. Snow was already coming down when Wendy showed up last.  
"So what is with you and snow anyway?" Cartman asked them, noticing how they kept looking out the window, watching the snow come down.  
Carman smiled and sat down next to Cartman, she had wanted to sit on his lap, but decided not too. After all, she wasn't sure if he knew how she felt about him yet.  
"The snow just reminds us of West Park, that's all." Carman answered.  
"The snow used to come down like this all the time in the winter and we'd have school closed for like a week," said Denise, "It was so great. We'd all have big parties outside."  
"The best part was the snow forts," spoke up Camilla, then she laughed, "Once I built a tunnel and Fran sat on top of it and stomped on it so it caved in!"  
"Fran is such an ass hole," said Lenny, "I don't like her."  
"I'm so glad she's not here now." Wendy said.  
Then all of a sudden they heard a thump that sounded like it came from outside.  
"Holy shit!!" whispered Carman. She grabbed Cartman's arm and moved right up against him.  
"Fat ass, is your skanky mom home?" Kyle asked.  
"No, she's left about an hour and a half ago." Cartman answered.  
"Oh my God you guys are worrying about nothing," said Denise, "So what are we going to do?"  
"How about we-"started Lenny.  
"No!" yelled Kyle.  
"We could-"  
"No!" yelled Kyle again.  
"What if we-"  
"NO!! Just shut up Lenny!" cried Kyle.  
Denise shot Kyle a dirty look, "Kyle, what is wrong with you?"  
"That gay dude needs to get a life." answered Kyle.  
"Lenny, go get a life." said Denise.  
"All right," Lenny got up and moved towards the door, "Bye Kyle." Then he winked and left.  
Kyle screamed again.  
"Shut up dude." said Stan.  
"What are we going to do?" Jeff wondered.  
"We could play Truth or Dare." suggested Wendy, smiling at Stan.  
He turned a pale green but didn't barf.  
"Cool! Let's do it." said Denise excitedly.  
"Okay," said Wendy, "Stan, Truth or Dare?"  
"OHMIGOD! I can't do this!" Stan cried and he ran upstairs.  
"What's wrong with Stan?" Wendy wondered.  
"You were going to kiss him weren't you?" Carman asked.  
"Yeah but...oh my God why does he always puke when I try to kiss him?"  
"Beats me...you're not very pretty." Denise said.  
"Denise, shut up!" Camilla said.  
"No, you shut up whore!" Denise shouted back.  
"What should we do now?" wondered Jeff before the girls could go on any further.  
"This is getting boring," said Camilla, she stood up, "I'm going home."  
She moved towards the door and Carman followed. She looked out the window.  
"Camilla, I don't think that's happening." Carman announced. She pointed out the window and all they could see was white.  
"Holy shit! What about poor Lenny?!" Denise cried, getting to her feet.  
"I shudder to think." Carman said gravely.  
"I'm hungry, I'm getting me some pie." said Cartman. He went into the kitchen.  
"That fat ass is always eating," said Denise, "Hey anorexic bitch, why don't you go join him? Oh yeah I forgot. You can't! You're anorexic!"  
Everyone laughed except Carman, "So NOT funny Denise and I'm not anorexic. I'm just the right size."  
"You do have nice curves." teased Jeff.  
Carman glared at him, "Thanks a lot dip shit." Carman turned and went upstairs. About a couple seconds later Cartman came back in the room, "That was some good pie."  
"You ate it that fast?" asked Kyle.  
"Oh my God you are a fat ass!" laughed Denise.  
"And you're a Jewish ho." Cartman shot back.  
"Will you all just SHUT the hell UP?!" Camilla called. She was on the couch, her head hanging off the side, looking wicked bored.  
"We should find something to do." Jeff said.  
"Maybe I should go talk to Stan." said Wendy.  
"Bad idea," said Camilla, sitting upright now, "You might make him puke again and then he'll feel really bad."  
"You're right. I just don't want Stan to be mad at me." said Wendy.  
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Denise offered.  
"Please don't." said Wendy quickly.  
"Hey, where's Carman?" wondered Cartman.  
"You scared her off." said Jeff.  
"No really."  
"Upstairs." answered Jeff.  
"Okay." Cartman went upstairs too.  
"Ooooh! I wonder what they're going to do up there!!" squealed Denise.  
"We still don't know what they did the other day." said Kyle.  
"Are they really going out?" asked Wendy.  
"I don't think so." said Denise.  
"That'd be SICK if they were." said Wendy looking disgusted.  
And so the night passed. It was about six in the morning when they heard something on the door. A scratching sound.  
"I wonder..." Denise started but she opened the door and screamed. There standing on Cartman's steps was Fran!! She was holding a bent shovel and looked menacing.  
"Fran! You saved us!" Wendy cried.  
Fran didn't say anything, she just pointed behind her. There was Lenny! He was wearing his purple coat and looking very happy.  
Kyle screamed and Fran whacked Lenny over the head with the shovel.  
"Oh my God! You hit Lenny!" cried Denise.  
"You bitch!" added Camilla.  
Fran just smiled.  
  
The rest of the day was bright and sunny. The kids stayed outside and enjoyed the snow as much as they could, even though it melted rapidly through out the day.  
  
So that's it. I hope you all enjoyed this pretty simple chapter–but I swear there's way more better stuff to come!!! Including some shit with Denise who wants to battle it out with the Raisen's Girls, the arrival of yet another West Park kid, some summer vacation stuff, and oh SO much MORE!!! I hope you're all enjoying the "West Park" series so far. I will update as soon as I can!!  
  
AN: (Oh and what is up with Lenny and Kyle?!! Perhaps we'll see soon! lol)  
  
With much love, Cartman's Baby 3 


	7. Secrets Can Be Secrets part 1

Secrets Can Be Secrets part 1  
  
Denise stood next to Carman's bed and watched as she slept. Denise tried to hold back her laughter as she took a plastic cup of water from Carman's night stand and poured it all over her face. Carman suddenly woke up she coughed and sputtered as she looked angryliy at Denise.  
"Anorexic bitch, it's about time you woke up!" Denise teased. She was smiling playfully.  
Carman wiped the water from her face with her blanket, "You...are...such...a...whore!"  
Denise smiled, "Well...I guess that title's better than 'anorexic bitch'!" Denise laughed at her own joke.  
"There has to be a better way to get me up in the morning," Carman said irritably as she sat up in bed.  
"Hurry it up. We have to be at the bus stop in twenty minutes," Denise said turning towards the door, "Oh and by the way, don't forget NOT to eat!" She laughed again and closed the door.  
Carman flipped the door off and went to her closet. Twenty minutes later she arrived at the bus stop dressed in her school girl outfit and her jacket.  
"Aren't you cold darling?" Lenny asked, "I mean that outfit is just gorgeous on you! Very cute."  
"Thanks Lenny," said Carman, still looking grumpy after what Denise had said and done, "But I'm not cold. I'm just...fine."  
"Don't worry anorexic bitch, you'll see your fat ass boyfriend at school." Denise teased.  
Carman chose not to reply.  
  
When they got to school Cartman was waiting by Carman's looking. He was standing there akwardly. Stan, Kyle, and Jeff were standing nearby giggling and pointing.  
"Hey Eric." greeted Carman. She didn't smile or hug him she just started taking books out of her locker.  
"Hey," Cartman said, "Um...you look...good today."  
Carman turned to him and smiled. She knew it was basically all Cartman could say in front of the three boys behind them. Plus she hadn't really known him to be the affection type...yet.  
"Thank you so much," Carman said softly pulling Cartman into a hug. She felt better being with him, and warmer too since they had grown to be so close in the few weeks time that Carman had lived in South Park.  
"Isn't that SO cute?! That fat ass and the anorexic bitch!" squealed Denise from behind them.  
Carman's face flushed red in anger but she didn't say anything. Cartman however was pissed.  
"Will you shut the fuck up you Jewish ho? You're just a jealous bitch who can't get anything! So just SHUT UP!!" he yelled at her.  
"Whoa..." Carman breathed, but she looked impressed.  
Denise folded her arms, "At least I don't have a fat ass!" she spat and she turned and went into class.  
"Eric, look, I'm really sorry about her...today must be a bad day for her." Carman tried to explain.  
Cartman could tell Carman was the one having the bad day and he tried finding something to say, something funny, anything at all but he didn't know what to say. He was a little embarrassed too.  
"Um...it's okay." Cartman finally said.  
  
"So what was with that out burst you made this morning?" Stan asked Cartman later that day as they were getting books from their lockers.  
"She doesn't have the authori-ty." Cartman said.  
"Whatever dude," said Stan, "Kyle let's go we're going to be late for Mr. Mackey's class."  
"Hey, you guys look at this!" Kyle held up a folded piece of paper, "Read it. It's weird."  
  
Dearest Kyle,  
I can not live with out you. Life is simply just a pleasure when I look at you. You're wonderful. You're all I ever dream about. I just wanted to let you know how I feel.  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Cartman cried.  
Kyle shrugged, "It doesn't say who sent it."  
"It could be a mistake. Maybe someone put it in the wrong locker." said Stan.  
"Maybe...hey maybe Denise sent me this." Kyle suggested.  
"She could have." agreed Stan.  
  
Later that day during recess, Kyle found Denise sitting on top of the jungle gym with Lenny.  
"Hi Denise, um can I ask you something?" Kyle said nervously, he shot a glance at Lenny. Lenny just smiled back at him.  
"Sure I'll go out with Kyle." replied Denise.  
"That wasn't what I was going to ask..."  
"Really? Oh."  
"Did you send me this?" Kyle handed her the note.  
Denise jumped down from the jungle gym and read it. When she was done reading she smiled.  
"Kyle...I didn't know you felt this way about me." she said.  
"Denise...I didn't write it for you!"  
"Then why did you want me to read it? It's awfully sweet. And Kyle," Denise put her arm around her, "You don't have to be shy. You know I like you."  
"Denise, will you just listen to me?"  
"Of course sweetie."  
"Did YOU send ME this note?!"  
Denise shook her head, "No. But whoever did is gonna be dead."  
Denise balled her hands into fists, "If someone else likes you then...then...I don't know what I'd do."  
She suddenly looked sad and Kyle felt a pang of guilt and he felt bad for her. Without another word, he went back to his friends.  
  
After school that day, Kyle, Stan, Jeff, Carman, and Cartman were walking home together. Cartman still felt bad for not saying anything earlier to Carman and he wanted to hold her hand but he knew Kyle and Stan would tease him.  
"I still don't know who sent me this damn note." Kyle was saying. He stared at the note in his hands. He didn't recognize the hand writing at all.  
"Let me read that." said Jeff. They stopped while Jeff read it. When he was done he started laughing, "Who in the hell would write this kind of crap?!"  
"That's what I'm trying to figure out." Kyle said irritably snatching the note back.  
"Are you sure it isn't Denise dude?" Stan asked.  
Kyle nodded, "I'm sure. I mean, I asked her and she said no, but what if it really is her?"  
"Then you two should go out," said Jeff, "Denise is pretty hot."  
Cartman laughed, "Yeah as hot as my ass!"  
Carman laughed too and then she said, "Well who ever wrote it must be really serious about you Kyle. You're lucky."  
Kyle considered this. Maybe I am, he thought.  
  
The next day Kyle found yet another note in his locker.  
  
Kyle-  
  
I dream about you day and night. When I think about you...I can't describe the sensation.  
  
This note drove Kyle into a frenzy. He showed it to everybody at lunch. He even let Wendy read it. She laughed so hard she almost peed her pants.  
"Who could it be?" she wondered, "Who is that serious about you?"  
"I really don't know." Kyle sighed.  
"Well let's look at the possibilites shall we?" said Carman who was sitting with them, eating the pudding Cartman had given up for her, "Even though Denise said it wasn't her, it still could be. I mean she talks about you all the time."  
"She does?"  
"Well yeah Kyle, she really likes you."  
"Okay. So who else?"  
"Maybe it's Lenny!!" cried Cartman.  
Kyle looked over at Lenny who was sitting with Butters, Tweak, and Clyde.  
"Holy shit! What if it is Lenny?!"  
  
Too be continued...sorry it's kind of short, but I wanted to put this in really soon. Part 2 will be here really soon! Hopefully this week! Well enjoy and don't forget to leave your comments! 


	8. Secrets Can Be Secrets part 2

Secrets Can Be Secrets part 2  
  
"Okay! This seriously has to stop!!" screamed Kyle. He slammed a piece of folded paper onto the lunch table.  
"Kyle, what is that?" Denise asked. She looked concerned.  
It was yet another lunch time. Today the lunch table consisted of Tweak, Butters, Denise, Carman, Cartman, Stan, and Wendy. Tweak was gulping down some coffee, Butters was just sitting there, Denise had been writing "I Love Kyle 4 Ever" all over her notebook in red pen, Cartman had been sitting with his arm around Carman and no one had said anything, not even Stan who, looking over at his fat friend, put his arm around Wendy too so Wendy was feeling much happier about her and Stan being together again.  
"Is that another note?" Stan asked.  
"From your secret admirer?" Wendy asked.  
"I don't think this is from any admirer, at least not a normal one." said Kyle. He looked scared.  
"Let me read it." said Stan. He took the note and read it aloud.  
  
To my dearest Kyle-  
  
I love you, and it's all that I can say except...I want you badly. I want to cut you up into pieces and make sure you're mine forever. I love you.  
  
"Oh my gosh! What the fuck is that?!" cried Carman.  
"Whoa...that was scary..." commented Butters.  
"Shut up dip shit." Cartman snapped at him.  
"Kyle," said Denise slowly, she stood up and took his hand in hers, "This is serious. Whoever this is...they...they really like you."  
"Either that or they want to KILL ME!!" Kyle cried.  
Denise looked down at her feet and sat back down. She looked down at her notebook and all the things she had written about herself and Kyle. She was sad. Someone really liked him, perhaps more than she liked him. She was worried about Kyle.  
"This really is serious dude," said Stan, "Someone wants to kill you!"  
"So what? Let them." said Cartman. He released his arm from around Carman and they held hands under the table.  
Carman shook her head, "You know what this is? A joke."  
"How would you know?" snapped Wendy accusingly.  
"I don't know...I was just...guessing..." Carman said uncomfortably.  
"This is too much pressure! Someone wants to kill you Kyle!!" cried Tweak, twitching all over.  
"Hello children." Chef greeted them walking over to the table.  
"Hey Chef." everyone replied.  
"Chef, read this note Kyle got." Wendy said, holding up the note.  
Chef read it and when he was done he gasped, "Holy crap! Who wrote this?!"  
"We don't know." Stan told him.  
"What should I do Chef?" Kyle asked him.  
"Get your little white ass out of town!" cried Chef.  
  
"Kyle...I'm really worried about you...what if this isn't really a joke?" Denise said. She was walking down the hall with Kyle over to his locker.  
"Denise...I..." Kyle looked at her. He didn't know what to say to her. He realized now that she wasn't the one sending the nasty notes. She really cared about him, in a way no one else ever had. Maybe he did really like her.  
Kyle opened his locker. He screamed when he saw yet another note lying there on top of his books!  
"Give me that." cried Denise. She snatched the note and tore it open.  
  
My beloved Kyle-  
  
I long for you to see me and for I to see you. I want you to be mine forever. We will die together and be together always. I wish to see you and for you to see me. Meet me at Stark's Pond at sun down and you will look at me at long last. I love you.  
  
Kyle screamed again when Denise had stopped reading it aloud to him.  
"Kyle!!" Denise lunged for him and hugged him. She started crying, "Oh Kyle...Kyle...no!"  
"What are you two doing?!" Carman and Cartman appeared at Kyle and Denise's side. Denise released him from the hug, her face was red with fury and sadness, tears were dripping from her eyes.  
"They're gonna kill him!" Denise cried.  
"Excuse me, mmkay." Mr. Mackey appeared in the hallway. He pushed through the kids and over to Denise.  
"Denise...I see that you're having a mental break down mmkay. Why don't we go to my office and talk this out mmkay? It will make you feel much better mmkay?" Mr. Mackey said. He grabbed Denise's arm and led her down the hallway. She looked back at Kyle, tears shining from her eyes.  
"Kyle!!" she called.  
Kyle just stared off at her as she and Mr. Mackey disappeared in the hallway of kids.  
"Denise..." he said softly and sadly.  
  
"So dude are you gonna go?" Stan asked as he, Kyle, Cartman, Carman, Wendy, and Butters walked home together that day.  
"I have to," said Kyle, "It's the only way I'll found out who this person is."  
"Ohmigod Kyle! Don't do it! Please!" cried Cartman.  
"Cartman, are you serious?!" cried Kyle surprised by what he said.  
"NO!" laughed Cartman. Beside him Carman giggled.  
"We'll-we'll go with ya Kyle. Right?" Butters looked around at everyone else.  
"Yeah Kyle, I'll go." Carman agreed.  
"I'm definitely with you dude." said Stan.  
"If Stan's going than so am I." said Wendy.  
Everyone looked at Cartman.  
"All right, all right!" Cartman agreed.  
"Thanks everyone." Kyle said, smiling.  
  
"Denise! Denise! Come on let's go!" Carman knocked on the Walter's front door but there was no answer.  
"Denise come on!" Carman called again.  
"Is she coming?!" Wendy called up the stairs.  
"I don't think so!" Carman replied, turning around and heading down the stairs.  
"Wait!" Denise threw open her front door. She looked teary eyed and her eyes were red from crying.  
"All right Denise!" cried Wendy and Carman.  
  
Carman, Denise, Kyle, Stan, Wendy, Butters, and Cartman sat at the pond's edge and watched the ice melt. The weather was getting warmer, summer was almost here and pretty soon some of the snow would melt too.  
"Where is that son of a bitch?" wondered Cartman. He was getting impatient. Around them, the sun was setting, turning the sky a bright red and orange.  
Suddenly they heard rustling coming from the bushes and then someone jumped out of them–it was—"LENNY?!"  
"You're my secret admirer?!" screamed Kyle, "You've been sending me those notes?!"  
Lenny brushed the dirt and pine needles off of his purple jacket, "What notes? I come down here to watch the sun set," explained Lenny, "What are you all doing down here?"  
"So wait-Lenny you're not the one?" Carman asked.  
Lenny shook his head and looked at the sky, "Isn't the sun set wonderful?"  
Before anyone could reply, a dark figure snuck up behind Lenny and hit him with a shovel. Then the person cackled evily. They knew that cackle anywhere–it was Fran!!  
"Fran?! You...you...BITCH!!" screamed Denise.  
It all happened so fast. Denise lunged for Fran and they toppled to the ground in a huge cat fight. Kyle dove for Denise and tried to pull her off Fran. Denise and Fran stood up and started fighting. Wendy and Carman grabbed Fran and tried to pry her off of Denise and Stan and Kyle were grabbing Denise.  
"Cat fight!! This is hella sweet!" Cartman cried.  
Butters had his hands up to his face, "I can't watch!" he whimpered.  
Minutes later, the fight was over. It ended with Denise crying in Kyle's lap. She was bruised and her lip was cut. Fran had run away screaming triuphantly holding the shovel above her head.  
"Denise...are you okay?" asked Kyle.  
Denise sat up and brushed her hair away from her face, "I'm fine. Are you okay Kyle?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well I'm glad that's over." said Stan.  
"Yeah let's go." Wendy stood up.  
Carman took Cartman's hand and they stood up too.  
"I'm glad you two are both okay, that was scary." said Carman.  
"Fran...is...a...bitch." stammered Denise. Kyle had helped her to her feet too.  
"That was really scary...but I-m glad it's over t-too." Butters said.  
"Well is that all?" Cartman wondered.  
"Yeah...I hope so." said Kyle uncertainly. He glanced at Denise. She didn't say anything.  
"Well then-screw you guys! I'm going home!" Cartman cried. THE END!  
  
Finally!! Whoo! Well I hope you guys enjoyed this story so please reveiw and give mw your comments! Yay!! Well anyway, there is still more to come including a new character (Kimmy!!!) More action, more adventure, and more excitement!!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Much love, Cartman's Baby 


	9. Kimmy

Kimmy  
  
AN: I decided to try out writing in script. If I like it than perhaps I will write the rest of the West Park series in script, so here is chapter 8 everybody! Please read, review, and enjoy!!  
  
(In front of the new apartment building. Denise is standing around, Carman is sitting on the ground, and Camilla is on the front steps of the apartment building.)  
  
Denise: Summer vacation!! No school, no homework, no cafeteria food, and NO MR. GARRISON!!  
  
(Denise sits back down on the ground. The snow on the ground was slowly melting away.)  
  
Carman: This is great, finally summer vacation."  
  
Camilla: (disappointed) And we're spending it here...in South Park.  
  
(Camilla is wearing her usual black cloak and a pentacle necklace.)  
  
Carman: (stares at her) What's wrong with summer vacation here?  
  
Camilla: South Park is just so...boring compared to West Park. What are we supposed....to do?  
  
Denise: (stands up and looking excited) Let's go visit Kyle!  
  
Her eyes shined at the thought of her crush, Kyle.  
  
Carman: (standing up too, irritated) Fine.  
  
Carman: (looks over at Camilla) You coming?  
  
Camilla: Nope, I'll just stay here.  
  
(Carman and Denise began the walk over to Kyle's.)  
  
Denise: God, she is so friggin boring. I don't know what she's complaining about. 'Nothing to do in South Park' sheesh. I mean look at her, she never does anything.  
  
Carman: (agrees just to shut Denise up) I guess you're right.  
  
When they got to Kyle's they found that he wasn't there, that he was at Stan's. So the girls went over to Stan's house. Carman knocked on the door and Shelly, Stan's older sister, answered the door.  
  
Shelly: Hello?!  
  
Denise: (in false sweet voice) Hi there, is Stan here please? We came over to hang out.  
  
Shelly: Who are you two? His hos?  
  
Denise: No, we're his friends.  
  
Shelly: Get lost dweebs.  
  
Shelly started to shut the door but Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Butters, and Wendy came up and grabbed the door so it didn't shut.  
  
Stan: Go away Shelly!  
  
Shelly: Whatever. I'll just kick your ass later. Right now I'm going to go watch Newlyweds  
  
(Shelly goes upstairs)  
  
Carman: (disgusted) Was that your sister?  
  
Stan: (rolls his eyes) Unfortunatly.  
  
Denise: God damn she's so ugly!  
  
Carman: We're bored, you guys wanna hang out somewhere?  
  
Denise pushed her way inside and Carman followed. She looked at the scene before her. They had been hanging out w/o Carman or herself-what had they been doing? Denise eyed Wendy.  
  
Stan: (shrugging) We weren't doing anything anyway.  
  
Cartman: God damn, I'm hungry. Where's the food Stan?  
  
Carman: (smiling at Cartman) Let's go to my house, I just got a deluxe pack of Cheesy Poufs.  
  
(Everyone starts walking back to the apartments)  
  
Wendy: Ew! That's digusting! Do you know what that shit is made of?  
  
Carman: Cheese and...poufs?  
  
Wendy: It's made of fat! And if you eat it then you'll get fat...like fat ass right here!  
  
CartmanL Ay! How many times do I have to tell you stupid bitch-I'm big boned! Carman: I eat them all the time and look at me!  
  
Denise: (rolling her eyes) You don't really eat them. You can't your anorexic.  
  
Before Carman can answer, they arrived at the outside of the building and looking up from a window on the top floor was a brown haired girl wearing a pink shirt and pink beaded barrettes.  
  
Girl: Hey everybody!  
  
Carman: (covers her mouth in shock) Oh crap!  
  
Cartman: (staring at her) What the fuck?  
  
Carman: Let's get the hell out of here.  
  
Wendy: (looking confused) What are you-  
  
Stan: (to Cartman) Dude what's wrong with her?  
  
(Cartman just shrugs)  
  
Denise: (sounding very serious) Dude, she's right-let's go.  
  
Girl: (from window) What are you all doing?  
  
Butters: We were just going to-to hang out. Wanna come w-with us?  
  
Denise and Carman glared at him.  
  
Denise: (smacks him) Butters you dick head!  
  
Carman: Yeah what's your problem?  
  
Wendy: Who is that?"  
  
Girl: (from window) All right I'll be right down!  
  
Denise: Let's run. NOW.  
  
Kyle: Dude Denise, just tell us who that girl is.  
  
Wendy: Yeah, why are you so afraid of her?  
  
Denise: (shaking her head) I'm not afraid of her...she's just...she's just...  
  
Carman: Kimmy.  
  
A second later the apartment door opens and everyone screams-There standing on the steps was a girl. Actually it was two girls. They looked exactly the same-but they were joined at the hip. Siamese twins...  
  
Cartman: Dude!" cried Cartman. He had a huge smile on his face.  
  
Kimmy: Hello Carman, hello Denise.  
  
Kimmy: Hello everybody else.  
  
Butters: Hey Kimmy! My name's Butters. Nice to meet you.  
  
Denise: (loudly) Can we go now?  
  
Kyle: (slowly) Kimmy huh. Nice to...meet you.  
  
There was a long akward silence in which no body knew what to say. They were all staring at Kimmy and she was staring back at everyone else.  
  
Kimmy: Hi there I'm Kimmy.  
  
Kimmy: And I'm Kimmy.  
  
Cartman: Whoa dude, so you guys are like Persian twins or something right?  
  
Kyle: Cartman you are so stupid! They're Siamese twins.  
  
Stan: (talking to Denise and Carman) Why didn't you tell us you lived with Siamese twins?  
  
Kimmy: We're very special.  
  
Denise: Yeah, yeah yeah real special let's just go.  
  
Carman: Yeah. Eric we better go.  
  
Cartman: This is hella sweet!  
  
Stan: So...what do you guys do all day? Sit around and...look at each other?  
  
Wendy: How do you go to the bath room?  
  
Kyle: Wow...you guys have two heads.  
  
Kimmy: We are so special we don't go anywhere.  
  
Denise: Yeah exactly, so why don't you go BACK in there?!  
  
Kimmy: We want to stay with you guys.  
  
Kimmy: We haven't seen anyone in a long time.  
  
Cartman: Dude this is so kick ass!  
  
So they ended up hanging out at the school playground for the afternoon, and Kimmy followed them. Carman and Denise sat on the swings and just watched as everybody else kept talking to Kimmy and asking her questions. A few minutes later Cartman ran up to Carman, looking very excited.  
  
Cartman: Dude, I just had this really kick ass idea!  
  
Carman: Oh? And what might that be?  
  
Cartman: A freak show! I bet a ton of people would pay to come and look at Kimmy and ask her questions and stuff!  
  
Denise: Hey Carman, why didn't we ever think about that?  
  
Carman: I don't know.  
  
(Kyle and Stan walk over)  
  
Kyle: Hey Denise, how come you never told us about Kimmy?  
  
Stan: Yeah and why are you afraid of her?  
  
Denise: Well...back in West Park Kimmy went to our school...  
  
Carman: And she annoyed the crap out of us!  
  
Denise: She like wanted to be our friend or something.  
  
Carman: But when we moved here her mom and dad decided that it would just be better if she didn't go to our school...because she's just a big retard.  
  
Cartman: A big retard that's gonna make us lots of money!!  
  
Carman: I say we go with it.  
  
Denise: Yeah I like this freak show idea. Let's do it!  
  
(At the town stage-Kimmy was backstage with Carman and Denise.)  
  
Kimmy: I can believe this I'm a star!  
  
Kimmy: We're so special-and popular!  
  
(Wendy comes back stage)  
  
Wendy: Hey Kimmy, Carman, Denise  
  
Carman: When will the madness stop?  
  
Wendy: I don't know why you guys keep being so mean to Kimmy.  
  
(Everyone looks over at Kimmy. They are picking each other's noses.)  
  
Denise: (angryliy) See! This is what happens when you let retards out of their cages!!  
  
Kimmy: (looking around) There's a retard here? Where??  
  
Kimmy: I don't see any retards.  
  
(Denise slaps herself in the head)  
  
(On the stage out front people are gathered around and Cartman is on stage with a microphone)  
  
Cartman: Ladies and gentleman, today you are going to witness one of the strangest things in your life. A two headed girl!!!  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Kimmy: (still looking around) There's a two headed girl here?!  
  
Kimmy: Oh my gosh! I wanna see her!  
  
Kimmy: Me too!  
  
(Wendy is just staring at them with her mouth open looking shocked)  
  
(Onstage)  
  
Cartman: This will astound and amaze you! For exactly one dollar you can ask the two headed girl a question! And now, here she is!!  
  
(Backstage)  
  
Kimmy: Where is she?  
  
Denise: Kimmy, you fcking retard-get out there!  
  
Kimmy: Me? I get to go onstage?  
  
Carman: Yes, now hurry and get your as out there!  
  
(Kimmy runs onstage waving to the audience. The audience oohs and ahhs at her and starts frantically asking her questions, which Kimmy isn't answering right.)  
  
Woman: How were you created?  
  
Kimmy: Hi everybody!! What are your names?  
  
Kimmy: Let's party!! (starts dancing)  
  
Man: Where did you come from?  
  
Kimmy: Let's dance!!  
  
(Cartman is standing off to the side, counting his money. Carman walks over.)  
  
Carman: Now do you see why we hate her?  
  
Cartman: I guess so...ten, twenty, thirty...  
  
(Carman, Denise, and Wendy go back offstage and into the audience with Kyle and Stan)  
  
Denise: Isn't this great?  
  
Wendy: Wow...Kimmy is a moron.  
  
Carman: See? We told you.  
  
Carman: (to Denise) You know who Kimmy reminds me of? She reminds me of you Denise.  
  
Denise: Excuse me?  
  
Carman: Yeah you heard me btch.  
  
Denise: (getting mad) At least I'm not an anorexic btch! Carman: At least I'm not a Jewish whore!  
  
Denise: Fat ass lover!  
  
Carman: Jew lover!  
  
Denise: Small tits!  
  
Carman: Limp ass!  
  
(They lunge at each other and start fighting, Kyle and Stan run over and pull them apart. Denise and Carman are still grabbing at each other and yelling stuff.)  
  
Carman: Your mama is SO stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!  
  
Denise: YOUR mama is SO FAT she sat on a rainbow and Skittles came out of!  
  
Carman: YOUR mama is SO stupid she asked for a price check at the fcking dollar store!  
  
Denise: YOUR mama is SO FAT her belt size is "E" quater!!  
  
(Cartman walks over, Carman is still struggling to get away from Stan who is holding her away from Denise, vice versa w/Denise and Kyle.)  
  
Cartman: What the fck are you guys doing?! Your missing my show!  
  
Kyle: They won't stop fighting!  
  
Stan: Fat ass help us w/them!  
  
(Cartman pulls Carman away and Denise and Kyle go off in another direction. Wendy walks over to Stan.)  
  
Wendy: Come on Stan, let's ask Kimmy some more questions!  
  
Stan: Fine by me!  
  
(Cartman and Carman are sitting on one side of the stage talking.)  
  
Carman: (crying) I do not have small tits...  
  
Cartman: (patting her on the back) No! Your tits...are...are very nice.  
  
Carman: (wiping her tears) Really?  
  
Cartman: Well sure they are.  
  
Carman: (hugs Cartman) Thanks Eric. You're so sweet.  
  
Cartman: Wanna go to Shaky's?  
  
Carman: What about your freak show?  
  
Cartman: (shrugs) Ne, it was cool. And I got the money, plus Kimmy's a fcking moron. Timmy's smarter than her.  
  
(Carman and Cartman are now walking away from the stage)  
  
Carman: Who's Timmy?  
  
(Over on the other side of the stage Denise is still crying and Kyle is akwardly comforting her.)  
  
Kyle: Denise...are you going to be okay?  
  
Denise: Yeah...whatever. I hate that aneroxic btch.  
  
Kyle: I thought you guys were friends.  
  
Denise: We are...sometimes. When she's not being a btch.  
  
Kyle: (rolls his eyes) Come on, let's go find Stan and Wendy.  
  
Denise: All right.  
  
(They walk over to the stage and stand with Wendy and Stan. Kimmy is still onstage, she's picking her nose. Everyone else in the audience is now bored and they walk off.)  
  
Denise: God, I hate Kimmy.  
  
Wendy: You're right, she is a bit...stupid.  
  
Stan: We should have listened to you before Denise.  
  
Kyle: Yeah at first Kimmy was kind of cool...but now we see what a moron she is.  
  
Stan: Come on, let's go play video games.  
  
(Everyone walks away, Kimmy is still onstage.)  
  
Kimmy: I'm am the star! The biggest star in the world! Look at all the people! Kimmy: Yeah everyone wants to see how special we are!!  
  
Kimmy: Woo!!  
  
THE END  
  
AN: Yeah I know this chapter was a bit...weak. But I have more. The next chapter is actually going to be put in a whole new fic by moi-"Big Gay Al's Big Gay Summer Camp"! All the kids are going to camp and SO much is going to happen! So look for that fic and read and review please! And brand new chapters are going to be on their way really soon!  
  
Much love,  
  
Cartman's Baby 


End file.
